Testamony: A Heart Change

After posting a comment on Pastor Brian's blog about my interest in Judaism and people asking me if I'm confused as to what religion I practice (I'm holding a Passover sedar at my home and gave out invitations to co-workers), I thought I would share my testamony about God changing my heart toward a people group I hated.

I grew up in Brooklyn, near Williamsburg, where a large concentration of Hecidic Jews lived. My classmates in grammar school used to taunt me about being a Jew, although, I wasn't. They would call me dirogatory names and always say that I'm a Jew because I looked like one. I hated them for it and I hated the Jews for it as well. In my childish mine, it was their fault also. If they weren't around, then these kids would not call me these names.

As a result, everytime I saw a Jew in the street, I would curse them aloud. I would call them names and make fun of them. I would scream at the women and make fun of them for wearing wigs. I was such a terrible person toward them.

Yet, strangely, I loved to go to my friend's house on Friday nights. She lived in a building where the majority of people were Jewish. I could hear the celebration of the Shabbat and the singing in Hebrew. The Hebrew singing was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I remember sitting in her hallway, not understanding any of it, but loving what I heard.

As time went on, I became even more verbal against Jews. I never wanted to be violent towards them. Verbal abuse was enough. After all, I still blamed them for my hurt.

When I got into high school and began practicing witchcraft and satanism, I came across a group in the subway called Jews for Jesus. They couldn't have been a more perfect target. I hated Jews AND I hated Jesus. It felt like a 2-for-1.

I would scream at these missionaries. I would say how stupid they were for believing in Jesus and how it went against their religion. I would tell them how confused they were, etc.

And through it all, not one Jewish person I ever tormented, fought back.

After I became a Christian, the Lord healed me of my past hurts from my classmates, and gave me a heart filled with love, especially for Jewish people. I know that the Lord has forgiven me for cursing His people, and I hope and pray that all those I've affected have forgiven me, too.

I feel very privilaged to have Jewish roots with my biological family (whether its through marriage or not), and to be grafted into the Lord God's spiritual family, as I consider the great Jewish men and women of faith to be spiritual grandparents. I am grateful to for the foundations laid and for the price they have paid so that the Gospel would be spread, so that one day, I would hear it.

I've come to appreciate, respect, and love those who hold the Word of God deep in their hearts. And my prayer is that they would come to know Y'shua as the Messiah. I can't explain the heart change, only that it's the work of the one true God. I would have never been able to do it myself, nor would have I wanted to.

And you know, I've come to love the way I look...I'm amazed by how well I blend in within people groups almost anywhere (except in Asia). I look forward to my visit to Israel within the next two years and I pray that God would bless the Nation He has called as His own.