The first time I ever cried.

At work!!! I'm such a baby and need to get over myself still. When I don't feel well, I'm overly sensitive. Well, I woke up today and I felt like crap. I think I have a cold or something. So, I wore jeans and a really, really large sweatshirt to school (because I'm freezing)! I didn't wash my hair and it's all frizzed out and looks hideous.

I get to school and I'm told I have to take pictures for the yearbook!!!! What?!? Why wasn't I told?!?!? Everyone was so dressed up!! I looked terrible!! I got called out of class to take the group picture with the other teachers. I was the last one to get there and everyone was waiting on me. People were looking at me like "what is she wearing? Did she seriously come to school like that today?!?" Now, I know they didn't say it and any other day it probably wouldn't have bothered me, but today it did. I almost started crying during during the picture. Then I left. I was told I have to take individual pictures with all the 6th graders. I couldn't do it and just started crying. I felt horrible that I looked horrible. Needless to say that I didn't take the other pictures. I returned to class and my students were like what's wrong?!?

I finished teaching the class and afterwards many 6th graders came to me with gifts of candy telling me not to cry, that I'm beautiful. They are so sweet and I was really touched by it.

But the entire school knows that teacher Nicole was crying today....

I feel so retarded.

When I first came to Taiwan, I didn't fit into my nicer clothes. I wore a lot of workout clothes. I attended this church and a girl (who happened to be a leader in the church) ask me in quite a condescending manner, "Don't you have any better clothes to wear?" I'm still quite sensitive about my appearance. I know, I know...I need healing from the Lord....

ok, Lord. I'm ready.